TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
JOHNNY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: Johnny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
JOHNNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
JOHNNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johnny, who discovered America?
TEACHER: Johnny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?
JOHNNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
JOHNNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?
JOHNNY: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOHNNY: Don't bite any.
TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
JOHNNY: "I is..."
TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."
JOHNNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
Teacher: Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Johnny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really,really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"