by SID


TEACHER: Johny, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?

JOHNNY: You told me to do it without using tables!


TEACHER: Johnny, how do you spell "crocodile"?


TEACHER: No, that's wrong.

JOHNNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!


TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?


TEACHER: What are you talking about?

JOHNNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!


TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johnny, who discovered America?

JOHNNY: George!


TEACHER: Johnny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.



TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?

JOHNNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.


JOHNNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER: I think so. What do you want me To write?

JOHNNY: Your name on this report card.


TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?

JOHNNY: Don't bite any.


TEACHER: Johny, give me a sentence starting with "I".

JOHNNY: "I is..."

TEACHER: No, Johny. Always say, "I am."

JOHNNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."


Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

Johnny : "Because George still had the ax in his hand."


Teacher: Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.


Teacher: Johnny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!


A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."

The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"

The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really,really hurts."

The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"


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