Silly Doofus Jokes and Inventions

by Manasvi
(Singapore)

1. How do you keep a doofus in suspense?


I'll tell you tomorrow!

2. How do you know when a doofus has been making chocolate chip cookies?

When there are M&M shells on the floor of a kitchen!

3. Why did the doofus climb the glass wall?

To see what was on the other side!

4. Why did the doofus get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing away the bent ones!

5. How many fools does it take to screw and unscrew a lightbulb?

Three; one to hold the bulb and two to keep turning the chair till it has been screwed/unscrewed!

6. How do you confuse a doofus?

You put them in a round room and tell them to sit in a corner!

7. How do you know when a doofus has been using his computer?

When there is white-out all over the correction screen!

8. What do you do if a doous throws a hand grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back!

9. How did the doofus break his arm by raking the leaves?

He fell out of the tree!

10. Why did the doofus get fired from the M&M factory?

He threw away all the W's!

11. How do you sink a submarine full of fools?

Knock on the door!

12. Why was the fools brain the size of a pea?

It swelled up after exercising!

13. Three foolish tourists wanted to go to Disneyland. Somewhere along the way, they saw a sign reading, "Disneyland Left."

So they went home!

14. Why did the fool put a chicken in a hot bath?

So it would lay hard boiled eggs!

15. How do you make a doofus laugh on Sunday?

Tell him a joke on Saturday!

16. Stop! This is a one way street!

I was only going one way came a reply!

The following "jokes" are a couple of pointless inventions!

17. Waterproof tea bags!

18. A one-way escalator!

19. What has teeth but cannot eat?

A comb!

20. What is H204?

For drinking!

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